I had these two dreams about 10 years ago, shortly after ending a relationship. It was a very short relationship, lasting about 2 months, and there was no intimacy involved. We simply went out from time to time. I haven’t been in a relationship since then, and the dreams have always bothered me.

The first one appeared to be a funeral, except that the guests were all dressed for a wedding. There were two caskets; one with me in it dressed in a wedding dress (and even holding a bouquet), the other contained the groom. I have no idea of his identity. We were lying in our caskets side by side. Then the minister came forward and said, “All rise,” and we both stood up. The minister proceeded to marry us as if there was nothing unusual. Then there was the usual wedding celebration.

In the second dream I was sitting at a desk in an office. There are other desks around with other people working. Then one by one there were deliveries of bouquets of roses to each woman in the office, and the women were all happy and excited. Then the deliveries stopped and I realized I was the only one that did not receive a bouquet.

I tried to hide the fact, but then someone noticed that I didn’t have any roses and they all began to laugh at me. Then a delivery came for me, but it was a potted plant, a hibiscus or something, and it was dried and wilted beyond belief. The other women began to make fun of it and make fun of me, so I began to cry.

Then someone came in and began to scold all the women for laughing at me. The person (I don’t know if it was a man or woman) said to me, “Don’t worry, if you water it and take good care of it, it will become healthy again and you will be able to enjoy it for years and years. All they have are cut roses, which will dry up in a few days and will be gone forever.”

I haven’t forgotten these dreams, and lately they seem to pop up in my mind frequently.

—Janice, Age 33, Single, USA

Hi Janice—

No wonder these dreams have stuck in your mind! It’s not every night that we dream our wedding is a funeral!

Death in dreams is a metaphor for change and separation. Accordingly, your first dream reflects the disappointment that naturally occurred when your relationship suddenly ended. Even though your relationship was not intimate or especially enduring, you nevertheless hoped that it might lead to a greater commitment. The contrast of the wedding with the funeral explains the confusion you felt when the courtship was over. Instead of attending a wedding (your hopes for a committed romance), instead you were attending a funeral (your relationship was “dead”).

Your second dream reflects the social pressure that we all feel to be in a committed relationship. The bouquets of roses that are delivered to your co-workers represent their various romantic involvements. Your dream shows that you were feeling left out of the crowd: You are the only woman in the office who does not receive a bouquet! Because your relationship had just ended, the meaning of this dream is clear: You felt you would never find a partner!

The hibiscus that is wilted and dry reflects feelings of low self-esteem (hurt feelings), that at the time needed to be nurtured. The dream also makes clear that some of your competitors’ smugness at having bouquets delivered to them was based on superficial hopes for the future. The bloom soon would be off their rose (their relationships would not endure), but your plant, if you cared for it and nurtured it, would grow into a healthy, beautiful flower.

You inform us in your dream report that you have not dated for the last ten years. If your disappointment was great in the past, and you fear being hurt again, the memory of your dreams is encouraging you to take the risk of entering into a relationship again—with all the perils that attend (fears of rejection, incompatibility and hurt feelings)—balanced with your need for love, romance, and companionship. The reason your dreams are weighing on your mind is because you are 33 years old, the bio-clock is ticking, and you would like to find a partner to start your family.

Translation? Your hibiscus has recovered, and is ready to bloom! Give your dreams plenty of sun, water and good soil, and let love grow!