The dream started with a chase, but I can’t remember that part; only that I had to get away. Then I am standing on top of a fortress, very high and looking into a fast moving river. I see my boyfriend’s sleeping bag and clothes floating with the current and feel as though I have to retrieve them and cannot. I look next to me and he is standing there mute and dumb. I feel so sad and frustrated about his belongings in the river. It’s very dark and dreary and feel like I have to make myself wake up. Wake up as if it were a nightmare.

- Eileen, Age 36, Solana Beach, CA, USA

Hi Eileen -

You may not be very happy about the direction your boyfriend’s life is heading right now, as represented by the clothing in the swift moving river. I think you also feel that he isn’t doing anything about this direction - which is why you see him in the dream as being mute and dumb - helpless and unable to express himself. The fortress most likely represents your higher self - you are up very high and able to see a long distance.

Is your boyfriend experiencing any difficulty now that you wish you could help him with? Is he involved in any patterns of behavior that you feel he will never escape from? As the dream shows - you would like to change this pattern - change him - by pulling his clothes out of the river - but you can not. It leaves you feeling helpless and despairing.

You may just be wanting to help your boyfriend through a difficult situation but feel frustrated. Or, perhaps like many people, you are hoping that your lover will change. In the latter case, your dream may be reflecting your own honest assessment of the situation. You are recognizing that you will be unable to “change” your boyfriend - which is a difficult, but also basic, realization all lovers need to make about each other.

Does this make sense in the context of your relationship?

REPLY

He is now my x-boyfriend and sustained permanent brain damage almost a year ago. Our relationship was always stormy and distrustful (on my part) but I did love him. I had to let go for my own sanity. The crazy part is that I really don’t miss him. I was with him for 9 years. I feel relief, but my dreams are filled with anxiety and remorse... I have had vivid dreams all my life and only lately have they become more obscure. You sure did hit the nail on the head about the one I wrote you.