Background: I am usually able to find meaning in my dreams, but a couple of dreams I had the other night left me worried. On the same night, my Mom and I both had dreams about each other, and both dreams had a sense of danger about them.

In my dream, my mom and I were walking somewhere, when she took a wrong turn and fell into some sort of lake or canal. Since she doesn’t know how to swim, I jumped in; but I couldn’t reach her right away. As I swam toward her, I directed her to just tilt her head back toward the sky, and to try to relax. By the time I got to her, she was doing quite well, and I pulled her to shore.

In her dream, she was standing in my bathroom late at night (I live with my parents) when all of a sudden a strange man grabbed a hold of her, his elbow around her neck. She wanted to scream to get me out of the house, but he headed her off by saying, “Don’t even think about it.” She then woke up, quite startled, of course.

Although we haven’t talked much about it lately, I think the dreams may have something to do with my plans to move out (again) in January. Perhaps my dream was indicating my fears that my mom will be lost without me (she had a really hard time when I spent a year overseas), and perhaps her dream was indicating her desires to help me but somehow being held back. Her dream probably also contained some real fear of intruders in our home, since my dad often is away on business.

My question is, aside from a general interpretation of our dreams, is: Do you think our dreams could be a warning of a future event? I just think it’s eerie, especially because I never remember dreams about my mom, that we had such dreams on the same night. Are we a “Duo in Danger?”

—Melanie, age 25, single, Seattle, WA

Hi Melanie—

Not only do you and your mother care for each other deeply, your minds appear to perfectly in synch. You each are dreaming of the other’s safety -- on the exact same night!

I agree that your upcoming move, in January, is most likely the cause of these dreams. Because water is a consistent symbol for emotions in dreams, your mother’s “fall” into a lake or canal most likely represents concerns you have about her ability to “stay afloat” -- emotionally -- without you. Although your mother does not know how to swim in real life, it is significant that, in the dream, she learns quickly -- with her daughter’s coaching. What is the message implied by this familiar dream metaphor? After an initial shock (your departure), your mother will indeed to “learn to swim” (live without you) in the emotional waters created by your departure.

Similarly, your mother’s concerns -- as she prepares for your absence -- are represented in her dream by an intruder. She worries that danger lurks near you, but she is warned by the intruder to “not even think about” expressing these fears to you. While it is possible your mother is concerned for her own safety once you are gone (she will be alone in the house more often), another interpretation of this dream is that she is aware she must not burden you (must not call out) with fears and anxieties concerning your departure. Your mother appears resolved to “let you go” so you can enter the next phase of your life.

Rather than foreshadowing actual future events, your dreams -- like most dreams -- appear to be providing us with a poignant glimpse of the present. By giving your mother support and reassurance, you are already teaching her how to swim. By “swallowing her fears,” your mother is allowing you to grow into the independent woman she truly wants you to become.