I woke up yesterday and fell back to sleep for a few minutes. In these few minutes I had a very vivid and frightening dream.

My mother, sister and I were leaving a mall after a day of shopping. We got into my sister’s new car, which was actually designed to look like a shoe (a woman’s shoe with a strapped back and wedge heel - in reality, she does not have a new car). I was in the driver’s seat, my sister in the passenger’s seat and my mom was behind me, but my mother was driving the car. We left the mall parking lot and were driving up a steep hill - we seemed to be in a mountainous area like Colorado or something.

It suddenly became very dark (like night was falling or a storm was coming in) and I said to my mom “Mom, are you sure this is the right way?” She said “yes” and just as she said it the clouds broke and a shaft of light came through to reveal that we were coming up on a curve in the road that had a cliff off one side. We were going very fast - I remember looking at the dash and seeing 60 mph. When my mom realized, she slammed on the breaks, we skidded off the side of the road (off the cliff) and were heading down into the canyon.

I was in shock and disbelief at first thinking in my head, “This can’t be real” and “Rewind, rewind this.” Then my mom said “Oh, my God we’re going to die.” When she said this I put my hands over my face and we crashed. Next I woke up (and was surprised that I had woken up), but I was lying on the bottom of the canyon. My whole body was crushed, but I was alive. I could move my head and one arm. I looked for my mother and sister, but all I could see was a green thick liquid flowing by me with blood in it. I assumed they were killed, but wasn’t sure. I did not call out to them. I remember wishing that I had died, because now I would lay here and suffer prior to dying. Then I woke up. My one arm was asleep and the feeling was the same as it was in my dream.

Throughout the dream I very clearly felt every emotion I would imagine feeling in this situation: disbelief, resolution that it was actually happening, and then curiosity of what it was going to feel like...

The following night I had another dream about driving, but it was not tragic and more along the lines of a journey home. I was with childhood friends I haven’t seen in years and the car was extremely crowded and small. We made a few stops along the way, but nothing eventful. I just thought it was interesting that I’d have another dream about driving the day after.

Recent events in my life are the following:

My parents just moved to the town where my sister and I live. They drove here from Virginia and moved themselves. Both of them are extremely afraid of heights and will not drive in a mountainous area.

My sister is pregnant. I also want to have a child but have not yet been able to get pregnant.

Thanks for your help...

--Anonymous, USA

Hi Anonymous -

It sounds like your dream was a wild ride! Are you ready to take another one? (Let’s do the interpretation!)

The reason your sister had a new car in the dream (shaped like a woman’s shoe) - surprise - is because she is pregnant! Cars in dreams typically symbolize our selves. The fact that your sister’s car was new signals her recent change in status - her pregnancy. Why was the car shaped like a woman’s shoe? Because dressing up in heels… is associated with being, and feeling, sexy. You are keenly aware of your sister’s fertility right now - as she is pregnant and you would like to be. Do you see the connections?

The arrangement of passengers in car dreams also is telling. In this dream you are in the driver’s seat, while your sister, whose car it is, is in the passenger seat. (Are you the older sister? This arrangement suggests you are the dominant personality in the relationship.) Surprise again, though. Your mother, seated in back, actually is the one driving. (In the dream she is literally a “back seat” driver.) This location of your mother, and her subsequent reckless driving and accident, suggests you are concerned about her influence in your life right now - to the point where you feel like your own life is out of control. You also question your mother’s sense of direction in the dream. Do you worry about her judgment in real life?

Your second dream, though it appears to be fairly simple, clearly echoes the themes of the first. The car you are in is crowded and small. It also is full of childhood friends whom you haven’t seen in years. What’s the connection? You feel like you’re becoming a kid again, and you feel like your space is crowded. What’s the larger connection? I suspect it is the arrival of your mother again.

Your first dream, Anonymous, actually is a warning dream, and as such should be considered carefully. It is difficult, as a rule, for children to acknowledge fault or difficult feelings about their parents. Both your dreams, however, reflect significant concerns about your mother’s pending influence and role in your life. You don’t want to go back to being a kid again, and in truth you don’t really trust your mother’s judgment. Both dreams also appear to be reminders of how your mother impacted your life - negatively - in the past. This isn’t to say your mother is a “bad” person. But it does suggest that - like many mothers - she can’t help herself from “mothering” (driving from the back seat) even when her kids are grown.

Your dreams are indicators that you need to set boundaries between your parents’ and your family’s lives. You, your husband, and your children all need your own space to grow and develop as a unit. You also need to be in the driver’s seat (and driving!) in your own car - making and living by your own decisions. In future dreams always remember to take note of who is driving, and whether or not the car is in control.

Anonymous Replies

Thank you so much for your response. I can’t tell you how on target your analysis is!

My sister and I have agonized about my parents moving out here. We love them very much, but they can both be very judgmental and overbearing. You mention me not trusting my mother’s judgment, which is true. As an adult I have noticed some major issues and dysfunction in my parent’s relationship - things I never noticed as a child, but now can see how they have impacted my life. My sister and I are adamant about not having these attitudes inflicted on our children.

They have only been living out here two weeks, but I already feel that my life is out of control. They have expected us to spend time helping them, and guilt has been driving me to do it. As a result my own life/personal time has suffered. I definitely need to set some expectations with them and will heed your warning!

You know it’s funny, the dream I had the following night about traveling in a car with my childhood friends is also very telling. We were actually driving HOME - to the town I grew up in. Talk about returning to childhood! In this dream it was literal!