I am married with 3 children. I love my kids, but am not so happy being married right now. A month ago or so, I was out with a friend in my class at college who had been flirting with me (fairly innocently) until that point, and we almost went home together. Though we didn’t go through with it, things are awkward now between us. We aren’t meant to be together in any sort of solid relationship. He’s single, no kids, and 21 (I’m 31). Anyway, this is the dream that I had.

I am in an empty room, like a cafeteria or banquet hall. The lights are out, and all the tables and chairs are empty. Someone comes up behind me and starts kissing the back of my neck, and speaking to me very softly. It’s my friend. He makes a promise of some sort to me, and then the dream ended because I was woken up. I’m not sure what else would have happened in the dream. It seems pretty clear that there is something I want him to tell me. I’m not sure what it is, or the significance of the dark, empty room and the empty chairs and tables.

- Anonymous, Age 31

Hi Anonymous -

Kids are involved, and you are attracted to a “dark” and “empty” relationship with a man ten years your junior, who, in your own words, obviously is not a solution to anything? If there was more light in that dark room - you might have noticed the message that’s written all over the walls of this dream: It’s marriage counselor time!

Even if you are fed up with your husband, you owe it to your children, not to mention yourself, to learn the least damaging way to extricate yourself from your marriage - if you decide it was a mistake - or the best way to give it another go - if that is your decision. If you are motivated to cheat on your husband as a way of hurting him - because you have been hurt by him - I urge you to consider that anytime we “stoop” to another person’s level, we invariably lower ourselves in the process. The answer’s so simple! Take the high road, end the hurt game, and start working toward solutions - whatever path you choose. Find a woman counselor you respect, go by yourself at first if you are more comfortable, and spend fifty dollars to have her help you to sort out your emotions. It may be the most valuable fifty dollars you ever will spend.

We wish you the best of luck!