The dream begins with me in a car with my ex-husband. The car is one we had when we were married; he doesn’t have it anymore. We are at a recreation area near the river, close to where I am presently living alone.

My ex-husband stops the car and says that the brakes are not working well. He leaves the engine running and gets out of the car to go into a store for snacks. I wait in the car. As soon as he gets out, the car rolls back a little and stops. Then, mysteriously, it puts itself into drive and the accelerator quickly goes to the floor (very much like the movie Thelma & Louise.) The car heads for a tree, crashes through it, and goes over a cliff. While I am falling in the car and into the river, I am thinking and believing that I will be alright.

When the car hits the water, the water is very warm. I somehow get out of the car and swim a short distance to the shore. I walk up some stairs. At the top of the stairs is a woman and a little girl. I ask the woman for change to make a phone call. She gives this to me. I call my ex-husband and tell him what has happened and tell him to pick me up. Only a few minutes pass, and he is there to pick me up. The weird thing is that he is driving the car that plunged into the river, and it is fine. This is where the dream ends.

NOTE: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost 2 years. It was a nasty divorce. While we were married, he put me through much stress. He is a habitual liar and con-man. (Maybe this will help interpret.)

Also, I have recently begun a new relationship with a man I used to date in high school. He is recently divorced. Our relationship began quickly and we saw each other quite frequently. Lately, he told me he wanted to slow down. I am disappointed. Does this have anything to do with my dream?

—Anonymous, USA

Hi Anonymous—

Is it possible your recent disappointment with your new lover has caused you to think back to the “good old days”—when you were married with your ex-husband? If so, this is a classic “warning dream!”

Your husband’s car is a symbol of himself. The fact that it “takes off” suddenly, and without a driver, represents the compulsive side of his personality. (Compulsive behaviors are performed repeatedly, without control or awareness.) The brakes, also, do not work on this car. This familiar dream metaphor shows us your husband is “unable to stop himself.” Sure enough, the car soon crashes—another sign your ex-husband’s life is out of control. Finally, the seating arrangement in the dream—you are a passenger in his “old car”—lets us know that your ex-husband still is able to influence you. He is able to “control the direction” you are headed.

It is significant that you are aware, during the car crash portion of the dream, that you are not really in any danger. This suggests you understand the dream is a metaphor (you are not really going to get hurt), and it hints that an element of routine, or “business as usual,” attends this dramatic car crash. When your ex arrives to retrieve you after the accident, he’s driving the same old car! It’s as if the accident never happened—and he still wants you to get in!

If you are feeling let down by your recent whirlwind romance, Anonymous, don’t let it blow you off course! You have worked hard to leave a difficult and abusive relationship behind, and you deserve every praise for setting yourself free. Rather than romanticize the past, why don’t you reaffirm your commitment to yourself, and to people, relationships and values you want in your life? It is clear from this dream that your ex-husband’s car will not take you where you need to go!

Dear Dream Doctor—

Your analysis of my dream is phenomenal! It is exactly what is going on with me, and I really needed to hear your words because it has set me back on the right path.

What you will find interesting is that my ex-husband called my mother yesterday, gave her his telephone number, and asked her to ask me to call him. (He doesn’t know where I am.) This happened two days after my dream, so the dream really was a warning.

I am disappointed about the “cooling down” of my recent romance. However, your words have reconfirmed in my mind that either this romance will heat up again, or another will come my way. It is nice to have a relationship but it has to be the right relationship; otherwise we are better off alone.

Hi Anonymous—

You’re back behind the steering wheel! Your strong decisions will guide you to the destination you seek. Congrats on avoiding that car wreck!