I would appreciate your insight into this memorable dream, which I keep thinking about but still don’t think I’ve gotten the “ah ha” that I have really figured it out.

I am wearing a light backpack, hiking alone on a path in the woods on a gorgeous sparkling day. I am moving along quickly, going just slightly uphill, and feeling invigorated, enjoying the crisp air. I come to a sparkling, clear shallow stream flowing from a lake just up ahead on my left. The path goes straight through the stream and I walk right across it. On the other side of the stream, I suddenly become annoyed at some sort of commotion going on in my backpack. I stop and put my hiking stick down so that I can loosen it and shake it off my back, and I let it fall to the ground.

In that same split second, before I turn around to figure out what the problem in my backpack is all about, I have a fleeting thought that if I go to my left, by the lake for a short while before going right, over a hill, I can continue on what might be an even longer, more blissful journey through continually beautiful places.

This flight of thought is suddenly overshadowed by the appearance (straight ahead) of a cabin with a steep tall mound of earth that forms a wall right behind it. I saw a place like this in waking life many years ago. I reluctantly decide to stay here and forget the other path, but wonder what might have been ahead. I decide to be grateful that I have a place to stay

The awareness of my backpack creeps in to my mind and I look back, but instead of seeing my backpack on the ground, my eye is caught by the incredulous sight of a bulging fishnet bag of gold and silver coins glistening in the stream. The clear water is pouring over the bag in the sunlight, the coins changing from silver to gold and back as if it were alive. I associate this with my boyfriend. I am a little tired after my journey and smile at the irony of the situation. There is no way I could carry that bag! Plus, if I touch the coins they might change into something else or disappear.

So I stand still, as if to say, just look at that!

Background: I am divorced (7 years) with two daughters in school, a good job, and a boyfriend of 1 and a half years. The thing I am struggling with the most right now seems to be whether I really love my boyfriend enough to continue a romantic involvement, or if I want to go back to a less serious level of involvement with him.

I haven’t had too many long-term relationships with the opposite sex, but I really can’t think of any reason I wouldn’t be ready for a commitment at this point. On the other hand, I couldn’t commit to my boyfriend now because he seems to have a recurring pattern of getting in and out of heavy debt. Right now, even on a doctor’s salary, he is carrying a 60K loan that will take 4 yrs. to pay. Along with the overspending is the overeating issue. He needs to lose 90 lbs. But besides all that, I wonder if the real issue is that my feelings are just not strong enough to think of hanging in there until the debts are paid, etc. etc. I feel I need to handle this situation as carefully as possible.

—Sarah, Age 47, Divorced, UK

Hi Sarah—

Your dream is a clear metaphor for the decision that you currently are evaluating: Should you settle down with your new boyfriend of 1.5 years—represented by the cabin in your dream—or should you carry on past him (going alone) to see what wonderful sights lie beyond the next hill? The path that winds to the left and over the hill represents the future. The reason that you cannot see ahead on the path is because—like all of us on the journey of life—you are unable to see the future.

The contents of the backpack that you are carrying begin to annoy you, causing you to remove the pack. Because the contents turn out to be coins, the allusion to your boyfriend’s financial problems (his debt) is unmistakable. The fact that the coins appear to be alive is yet another clue that the coins represent a living person. As you are aware, if you choose to marry your boyfriend, you will also marry (and have to “carry”) his debt burden. The water flowing over the coins represents the “emotional currents” that attach you to him.

The cabin represents the security of having a home—and of being in a committed relationship with your boyfriend. In the dream you are disappointed that you are unable to see what is beyond the next hill, but you also decide that you should be grateful that you have a place to stay. The wall that lies beyond the cabin represents a barrier to the future. If you choose to settle in this cabin, the path to the future—to the other future that you also could have had—will be blocked.

Because this cabin represents a potential union with your boyfriend, your dream is encouraging you to ask many probing questions about it: Is the cabin inviting? Is it a location full of warmth and security? Are you delighted to arrive there?

The dream makes clear that not all these feelings are present. In the dream you decide reluctantly to “settle” there (settle for what you have, instead of hoping for a better location in the future), and you have to convince yourself that you should be grateful for having somewhere to stay at all, even if it is not the location that you dreamed you would arrive at.

Similarly, when you contemplate the bag of coins at the end of the dream, you suddenly realize there is no way you could possibly carry them. Have you overestimated your ability to carry your boyfriend’s debt load, and his emotional problem of overeating, or are you simply making a decision that you want to be free of the burdens?

As this dream draws to a conclusion, you stand at the water’s edge, afraid to touch the money in the stream, because you sense that the coins might change into something else, or disappear. What is the meaning? If you examine your concerns about your boyfriend more closely, you fear that you may perceive him in a different light, or that he may become sensitive, and decide to run away.

What is the solution for this puzzling dream dilemma? If your boyfriend won’t recognize his dysfunctional behaviors and make changes to correct them, your dream suggests that the burden is more than you want to carry.

Dear Dream Doctor—

Thank you so much for your interpretation of this dream. You had it in your first sentence when you mentioned one of the choices meant “going alone”. That really hit pay dirt with me. Even though I was feeling the need to unburden myself of these problems, the prospect of “going alone” held me back. But in the dream, going alone at least meant there might be a brighter future. Settling in the “cabin” would have no real future, as the wall implies.

I can’t thank you enough.