I dreamt one night that the earth was melting and all I can remember was trying to stay on the roof of the house, then carrying my child into the trees, and climbing higher and higher...

I have been married for five years, have a five-year-old boy, and my husband wants a divorce.

—Jocelyn, age 31, Port Elizabeth, South Africa

Dear Jocelyn—

I am sorry to learn of your current marital difficulties, and yes, I do think your dream is related. In your dream the earth is melting. Do you think this is a metaphor for feeling like the ground is being pulled out from under you? Naturally, you are worried about your safety and the safety of your child as you face an uncertain future. In the dream you act out this anxiety by trying to climb up, ever higher, to "stay afloat". First you climb on top of the house, and then into the trees.

We all know that it is not easy to be a single mother. Have you and your husband visited a marriage counselor yet? If not, I strongly encourage you to -- perhaps individually at first, and then together. A marriage counselor can help you examine problems from an objective viewpoint, and will also offer guidance about managing your child's emotions during this delicate period.

Does this interpretation make sense to you?

REPLY:

Hi Charles—

Your interpretation certainly makes sense, as that is how I feel most of the day!

I have mentioned to my husband that we should see a marriage counselor but he insists that it would be a waste of time as it would not change the way he feels. He asked me for a divorce over a year ago and has done nothing about it -- but keeps reminding me that things have not changed. He just doesn't love me anymore. We are great friends, we hardly ever fight or argue, but that is not enough for me anymore...

Anyway, many thanks for replying. This dream has been worrying me and now it makes sense!

—Jocelyn