I have had a recurring dream for many years. In my dream I am alone, walking down a road on some important mission. I have a real sense of urgency about getting to this unknown destination. The weather is very cold and I am not dressed warmly enough, which irritates me, since I am from the south (true), and do not like cold weather. I am aggravated that I have to make this journey on foot in the cold.

Along the way I see a large body of water as if the area I need to walk to next is flooded. I am a bit fearful at this point since I am not a good swimmer. The water is very cold and the wind is blowing over the water making it move just slightly. I don’t know if the water is shallow or deep, but I know that swimming is not an option.

So I begin to think and plan how I am going to get around or over this water. I have an intense feeling of aloneness because no one is around to help me. I am also uncomfortably anxious because of the delay in getting where I need to go. I have to figure this out for myself. However, I never doubt that I will figure it out and at the same time I am fearful that if I don’t find a way, that I might have to swim and I know I won’t make it. Once I figure out a way, however, I know it’s the right decision.

Some times in the dream, I look around until I find a piece of wood not even large enough to support my body, but I sit on it and I float easily across the water much like being on a flying carpet. Once I even dreamed that I walked across the water to get to my destination! In the dream I don’t know where I am going, but I know when I’ve gotten there. Then I wake up.

Why do I always dream about a cold body of water that makes me fearful, that is in the way of my destination?

Some background about me: I am a commissioned salesperson and self-supporting. I raised my two children almost single handedly since a divorce 16 years ago. I was married for nineteen years. My children are grown and have families of their own. I remarried 3 years ago to a wonderful man, but was single almost 12 years. Generally, I am very happy and contented with my life.

—Meredith, Married, USA

Hi Meredith—

Whenever we experience a series of recurring dreams, we want to think back to the events occurring in our pasts when the dream began. Given the background you provide, your dream almost certainly started in conjunction with your divorce. In the dream you are forced to accomplish a difficult mission by yourself, and you are alone.

Journeys in dreams represent spiritual struggles and quests - projects we have to work hard at, for long periods of time. Water in dreams represents emotions. Accordingly, the bodies of water that you encounter on your journey represent periods of emotional challenge that you know you must surmount and “get through,” so you can continue on your path. It also is significant that the goal you seek to reach in the dream never is clearly identified. Instead, the journey itself is the destination.

Themes of cold and isolation pervade this dream. Is it fair to say that, in the wake of your divorce 16 years ago, you experienced an “emotional winter” in your life? The aggravation you feel reflects your lingering disappointment that you were forced to make your journey alone - without a partner. The important mission, we know, is your commitment to your family. Significantly, however, you always are confident in your decision. You know you will reach your destination, and that you have chosen the right path.

Despite its cold exterior, your dream actually is a warm portrait of brave determination in a challenging time. What a cold world it truly would be, without the warmth of the feminine heart.

Dear DreamDoctor—

Thank you so much for your insight. The more I thought about the dream starting with my divorce, the more I understood it’s significance.

I left my ex-husband after 19 years because he treated me so poorly. It took a tremendous amount of courage to tell him I was leaving. I had no real job skills and had the future of the children to think about. The day the divorce was final he smirked at me and said, “You’ll never make it out there without me. It won’t be anytime until you come crawling back, begging me to take you and the kids in.” I didn’t argue back. I just thought to myself..“I’ll show you, you cold -------!” (The cold in the dream relates to the coldness so prevalent in my previous marriage, just like you said.)

When I was married to my ex, I didn’t have a lot of confidence. He was much older than I and controlled every aspect of my life. If I had times of accomplishment he found a way to put me down. When I left him, I discovered that I could do many things well. Even though we lived hundreds of miles apart, there were times when I had to communicate with him concerning the children. The conversations were very businesslike and sometimes hostile. It always upset me. Those occasions are the times that I think the dream would occur. And I think that there might have been triggers, like a movie about a couple with similar problems, or a particular challenge at work. But, I have noticed that the dream isn’t occurring as much since the children left the nest. Being married to my husband helps too.

Without a lot of experience in learning to take care of myself and the children, I accomplished many things by the seat of my pants and a lot of trial and error. (Having to be creative in finding a way through or over the water.) When I think back on all the struggles that the children and I had to go through only to come out on top, what a rewarding journey! I am so grateful for what I’ve accomplished and all the people who helped me along the way. Needing to know the destination wasn’t important because I know, now, that nothing or no one could deter me from my goal. I had already arrived. The sheer will, the blessings of strength, hope and vision from God that I had the day I walked out on my own was the destination. I had the journey’s end with me all along.

I have thought a lot about the dream and with your interpretation so many things make sense. Having that dream was something that I would not have looked forward to. But if I have the dream again, I think I will enjoy it because I am so content with what I think it means.