I recently had an extremely disturbing nightmare during the night. I feel I have almost been traumatized by it in a way. It consisted of being forced to watch other people get raped and having my private parts sewn together, as an act of torture to me. It was awful.

The people in my dream were those I care about and think about consistently throughout the day. They were so careless of me and what had happened which had also disturbed me in the dream.

My question is what might this dream and the disturbing details in it represent? Also, is it normal to have such disgusting dreams with such sick sexual content in it? Thank you very much for your help, please respond.

—Anonymous, Age 16, Single, Female, West Covina, CA, USA

Hi Anonymous—

This is an intense dream, and I agree it is disturbing. But before you let your imagination get too spooked (I don’t think it was not a precognitive dream, or a repressed memory) it may help if we consider the context a bit.

Is it possible your dream represents some of your thoughts recently about friends who have lost their virginity? Sex often can be perceived as a violent act (rape) in dreams, and the indifference which your friends show to your predicament suggests that you don’t feel like you’re getting much support. If you’ve been turned off by some of what you’ve seen or heard recently (bad stories from friends about their latest sexual experiences - being used, etc.) then this may explain your own private parts being sewn together. After what you’ve seen some of your friends go through, you may be deciding that you’d rather give up sex—than go through all that pain!

There’s a lot of pressure to lose your virginity in high school. If you’ve been feeling some of this pressure, then remember that you’re the one who has power over your own sexuality and virginity. If it isn’t safe, comfortable, and meaningful—then the “sexual blues” aren’t worth it!