I am 15 and I have been going out with my boyfriend for a month and a week. I love him very much and we were good friends before we went out.

We are of the same heritage and everything. We are both white except he is Christian and I am Jewish.

Well, I had this horrible dream. It was that I was black and he was white and I was an Indian and I was sitting on his lap. We were reading this book about cowboys and Indians. Each cowboy group had a profile. One of them said if they scream “red bandanas” they kill all the Indians. This terrified me because I was an Indian.

Anyway. All of a sudden the door to the basement slammed open and I heard a cowboy scream “red bandana.” Well, my boyfriend got scared and instead of protecting me he threw me and left and never came back. And I was killed by the cowboy. What do you think this dream suggests?

- Lauren, Age 15, Female, “Taken,” North Kingstown, RI, USA

Hi Lauren -

Given all the background you’ve provided, I think you may be worrying about the “differences” between you and your boyfriend. He’s Christian and you are Jewish, and I think you are comparing these differences in religion to differences in race (you dreamed that you were black and he was white) and also to differences between cowboys and Indians.

Unfortunately, cowboys and Indians were enemies most of the time. Black people and white people have had their differences too. Is it possible you’re thinking that things might not work out between you and your boyfriend, because you’re Jewish and he’s Christian?

I’ve always wondered what the value is in a religion that separates us from other people, rather than bringing us all together. It’s a good question, isn’t it? Because the truth is that no matter what race we are or what religion we choose to believe in, we’re still a lot more alike than we are different. We all have families, we all have children, we all need to eat and drink and work and play and live. When you take away all the surface stuff, like skin color and religion, we’re all pretty much the same underneath. It’s a very important part of “being human” to remember.

What’s the message of this dream? It’s time to think critically about belief systems - religions especially - that are exclusive of people instead of being inclusive. If you haven’t already told the dream to your boyfriend, I think you should. He’s probably had some of the same questions.

Look beneath the surface! You’ll find that you and your boyfriend - before you fit into Jewish or Christian profiles - are two people who like and respect each other. If you remember your friendship, these social “differences” will never get in your way!