I recently had this dream that has confused me:

A friend and I were driving along this path to a park near my house. When she parked the car, we noticed that there were some other kids at the park. They were all smoking and drinking. We got out of the car and walked over to them. These two guys then offered us some cigarettes. My friend said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t smoke.” I was totally thinking the opposite, but was glad she had said that at the same time. The two guys became angry and kept pressuring us to smoke. My friend grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go.” She pulled me back to the car. The guys followed and tried to reach through the window and pull me out of the car. They also started throwing rocks at us. I became terrified, but said nothing so I wouldn’t upset my friend. She was speeding along the path we had drove down. I was scared that she was going to crash but said nothing. She made a sharp turn, and the car flipped over. I then woke up.

Help me...what does this mean???

- Ivory, Age 15, Manassas, VA, USA

Hi Ivory -

Your dream is reflecting some of the intense “peer pressure” that you currently are being exposed to with friends at school, after school, and with strangers you meet at parties. The pressure to “join the group” is so great - that is, to smoke cigarettes -that when you tell them you don’t want to smoke - you actually dream that you are violently attacked!

What I find disturbing in your dream is that you never speak up for yourself. You let your friend do all the talking when you meet the strangers at the park, and then you never speak up in the car when you are being attacked - or when your friend is driving recklessly and you are scared she is going to crash.

When you have a bad dream, it often helps if you make up a new ending for the dream - where you make positive things happen instead of bad ones. For example, in this dream, you might imagine that when things get tense between you and the two guys at the park, that you step forward and say, “There’s no reason for anyone to get upset. We’re on the track team at school - that’s why we can’t smoke.” Then imagine that you get behind the wheel of the car - with your friend as a passenger - and that you drive away calmly and in control. No accident, no panic, no violence. Then your friend looks at you and says, “How did you know how to do that? I was nervous there for a while.”

Why don’t you try repeating this new ending in your mind a few times before you fall asleep, and see how it changes your dreams? The most important thing is to envision yourself being calm and unafraid, and speaking up to take control of events. You’ll be surprised what a difference it makes!