Background information: My Grandma whom I was very close to passed away about a month ago. She had Lou Gehrig’s disease and was in a lot of pain for the last month of her life. I then slipped into a deep depression shutting everyone out. I miss her very much.

In my dream, my family and I were at a big house, after my grandma’s funeral. I went upstairs and entered one of the rooms, and there was my grandma, sitting in a rocking chair waiting.

I screamed and started to cry. She told me to be quiet so I wouldn’t startle anyone. I told her how much I missed her and wished she hadn’t gone. She then told me that she missed me too, but she was happier where she is, and that she is with my uncle and grandpa and her brothers. She told me not to be depressed about her death and not to shut other people out, and to live my life to the fullest.

—Nina, Age 15, Single, Ft. Wayne, IN, USA

Hi Nina—

I am sorry to learn of your grandmother’s passing. The last months of her life, suffering from Lou Gehrig’s disease, must have been especially difficult. It is always heart-wrenching to see someone we love in pain.

Judging by your dream, though, your grandmother still is watching out for you—even from the afterworld! (What are best friends for?) Have you taken her wise advice to heart?

In your dream you discover your grandmother in an upstairs room of a large house. Houses in dreams are frequent symbols for the self, with upper and lower levels representing higher (conscious and spiritual) and lower (subconscious) aspects of our personalities. Large houses with lots of rooms often function as metaphors for extended families. Accordingly, this location most likely reflects your grandmother’s new spiritual status.

You are delighted to see her, but after you say hello, your grandmother delivers an important message. She knows that her death made you depressed, and that you retreated into isolation. This is not what she wants for you. She asks you to accept the mystery of her passing, and turn your attention once again to the living—to live your life to the fullest. As for her, she assures you she is in a better place.

When the dead visit in dreams, they often come to reassure us that they are fine. If we are depressed, they also invariably instruct us to lift our gaze to the horizon once again. What is the secret the dead know, that the living often forget? Our hours in the light of day are brief—and magical. Each day should be “lived to the fullest.” It’s good advice, Nina. Your grandmother was a wise woman.