The week of my brother’s death I had a dream that he was missing. The whole neighborhood, church and city was looking for him. I remember that it was seven days after he had dissappeared that our family was sitting in our living room and we said we were going to give up when I looked out the window in our backyard and he was standing there smiling and told me to come to him. I ran as fast as I could and we embraced. I asked where he had gone to and all he said to me was, “Tell Mom thanks for everything,” and he vanished. Was he really telling me something or is there something else?

-- Steph, Age 17, Salt Lake City, UT, USA

Hi Steph -

I am very sorry to learn of your brother’s death. It is always difficult when someone leaves us, especially when, like your brother, they leave at a young age.

Death is one of the great mysteries of the living. And while there are many theories and beliefs about what happens to us when we die, the truth is that we don’t know what happens - and won’t know - until we cross that bridge ourselves.

I can tell you, however, that your dream of your brother visiting and leaving a message for a family member is fairly common. In your case, your brother appears to have visited you to pass on a message to your Mom, who I am sure misses him dearly. He tells you to please tell your mother “Thanks for everything.” It is a message of love, and of reassurance.

When those who have passed on visit us in our dreams, they never seem to stay very long, or to give us much information about where they are. Nor do they tell us much about how the whole process - life after death - works. I often wonder if - like a friend who has just seen a wonderful film or movie - they don’t want to spoil the ending for us. Usually their message is one of simple reassurance. They wish to ease the sufferings of hearts they have left behind, and to lift our eyes away from our pains to embrace the majesty, and mystery, of life again.

I think your dream is very special. If I were you, or any other member of your family, I know I would be comforted by your brother’s visit. Life is a mystery, and we don’t know all the answers. But it’s certainly nice to receive some encouragement along the way. Our hearts are with you and your family in your time of mourning.