I had a dream last night that my boyfriend cheated on me with a blond haired, big-chested woman. The problem is that my boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship, and on top of it, he claims he is not attracted to blondes or big breasted women!

So not only did he cheat on me in the dream, he also did it with someone he doesn’t find attractive. What could all of this mean?

—Allison, Age 18, Bethlehem, PA, USA

Hi Allison—

Dreams of romantic betrayals always are disturbing. Is your dream a warning that your boyfriend really is cheating on you? The fact that you have a long distance relationship together makes the dream all the more suspicious. When you’re apart, is he spending time with someone else?

Your dream provides several clues that this “other woman” really is a product of your imagination—rather than an actual person you need to worry about. First, because the woman in the dream is not someone you know, or even someone you might suspect (a roommate, co-worker, or a student), your dream lets us knows that your fears are general, and are not related to any specific person. Second, because the woman is “blond haired and big-chested,” we know that she represents a “highly visible” opportunity for a sexual encounter! Significantly, however, your boyfriend isn’t even attracted to these kinds of women. This is another clue that lets us know that the other woman represents a fear (the kind of sexy woman you worry about) rather than an actual person that your boyfriend is interested in.

The true meaning of betrayal dreams is that we fear our partner will find someone “better,” “prettier,” or “sexier” than we are. If you’ve been feeling depressed recently, take this dream as a sign that you need some extra TLC… (tenderness, love, and caring!) Make plans to visit your boyfriend soon, and be sure to pick up the phone. Long-distance relationships always are a challenge, and they need extra does of love and attention—in order to succeed!

(Go pick up the phone!!)