I have a dream where I see my girlfriend getting off with someone else at a night club. I think I have this dream because one night when we went to a nightclub she was dancing very closely with other guys. This concerned me even though she did no more than dance with them.

However, I can’t stop having this dream. Does this mean I don’t trust her?

- Brendan, Age 18, Single, Kildare, IRELAND

Hi Brendan -

It sounds like that night when your girl was dancing closely with other guys really made an impression. It raised some doubts in your mind - and now your dreams are showing your worst fears realized. Your girlfriend’s “getting off” - but it’s with the wrong guy! (Anyone but you!)

When dreams recur they indicate an issue inside us is unresolved. In your case, it appears you still wonder about your girlfriend’s trustworthiness.

Why don’t you put this relationship to “the heartache test.” Are the good times you have with your girlfriend worth the heartache that these doubts cause you? If it’s not a big deal and you two usually have a great time together, chalk it up to your girlfriend being flirty and testing out her sex appeal one night - and let it ride. If your doubts really bug you - and the rest of the relationship isn’t that great anyways - then it sounds like you don’t need the heartache.

Good relationships are fun, mostly easy, and don’t have lots of doubts and game playing going on. If she doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, what’s the point?