Some background info:

I met a boy named Tate in the city a few years ago. I was about 17 and he was 20. I was completely amazed by him, it was like we had a connection or something. The next week I saw him again and we spoke. We got on really well and started hanging out. He was the most amazing boy I had ever met. He took me to dinner and bought me stuff. Then it turns out his mum is my auntie’s best friend and she told my mum he was a heroin addict. I had never seen him shooting up or strung out and his mum even said he had stopped using most of the time we were together.

We had a misunderstanding one night and everything we had ended. I missed him heaps but got on with my life. Along the grape vine I heard he was using again. A few years later I had to call him. I don’t know why but it was something I had to do. On the phone we chatted and he said he’d call me when he came home. He did and we met and sat in a park for ages. I felt this uncontrolable bond with him yet we had nothing to talk about. After that he called me for our birthdays, his is on the same day as mine (22nd March), and that is the last time I heard from him.

Then last night I had this dream that was so real it left me feeling uneasy all day. I had a dream that Tate died of an overdose and no one told me and I was really angry at myself for not sending his birthday card with a short letter to him before he died. I would be so happy if you could tell me what it means. Tate is the only person in the world I have ever felt such a strong bond with. It is different than love, I don’t know what it is. Thank you so much.

- Anonymous

Hi Anonymous -

It is nice that you have met someone with whom you feel a strong connection. Occasionally in our lives we meet people we have an instant attraction and affinity for, and I agree with you that it is a curious bond. It is a type of “knowing,” and it appears that Tate also shares this attraction for you. Your relationship is not especially close, in terms of time spent together, yet you both have made the effort to look each other up and spend time together as the years go by - which I think is a good sign of friendship.

Tate’s use of heroin, of course, is very dangerous, and I think your dream is a classic warning dream about the dangers of his drug use. The fact is that anytime Tate uses heroin, he absolutely does risk never waking up the next morning. (By the way, what kind of “fun” drug is that?)

In your dream you wished you could have sent Tate a letter before he died. Have you thought about what your letter would say? Would you talk about the weather this time of year, what’s been going on in your life, local small talk - or would you have communicated something deeper that - judging from your dream - really is on your mind now? That you care very much for him, and that he absolutely has to get help and stop using the drug, because you don’t want to wake up one day and hear - through the grapevine - that he didn’t wake up?

I think I would take your dream as a warning about Tate’s drug use - and as a call to action. Why don’t you sit down today and write the letter? Tell him about your dream. Tell him what you feel. You most likely will learn the hard way that a drug addict’s first loyalty is to his or her drug habit - and not to their friends - but I think you also would kick yourself for a long time (remember your dream) if you at least didn’t speak your mind while he is alive. You two have a special connection - maybe you will be able to reach him. Tell him you care - and that you want him to live. He won’t be able to kick the habit alone - he will need to go through “re-hab” - but if he gets professional care his odds go way up. Write the letter and talk to your friend; his drug use is a cry for help!