My husband died suddenly 17 years ago when I was in my mid 30’s. In all my dreams I have had in the past I have always been able to talk with him but never touch him. In the last 3 dreams over the last year I have physically touched him.

My first dream, which was repeated: We are walking in deep woods. It is either early morning or late evening. We are walking towards a hugh tree. It is so big the light shines around it and we are in the shadow. As we near the tree I realize if I hurry ahead and pass the tree I will be able to grab and hold JD’s hand. I put my plan into action and when he comes around the tree I do hold his hand.

The next time I dream I repeat the same steps, except this time when JD comes around the tree, he takes my hand and smiles.

In the last dream a few nights ago, I am with all my dear friends. My children are there and we get in a car. JD is sitting in the car. I get in beside him. He puts his arm around me, and we sit and talk to each other, our children, and all of our friends.

In my deepest times of trouble I have always been able to go to JD in my dreams and talk the problems out with him. The results of our talks have almost always resulted in good and favorable results. They are very useable and positive answers to real problems.

My personality is best described: as get in there get it done, self reliant, self assured, strong willed.

--J, Age 51, Female, Widow

Hi J -

I am sorry to learn of your husband’s early passing.

Dreams of the deceased always perplex us. Have we made contact with “the other side”—or are we just voicing our feelings, and our hopes, in the reflecting pools of our minds - our dreams?

Your dreams, like many of the deceased, describe limited contact between the realms. For years you have been able to communicate with JD in times of crisis. Only recently have you been able to join hands, to touch and to hold each other.

I am reminded of the parable of God walking down the beach side by side with an individual. At one point, the trail of two prints walking together stops. For a long stretch, only one set of footprints appears in the sand.

“You see,” says the individual to God, pointing back at the lone trail of prints. “This is where you left me. This is where I walked alone on the road of life.”

“No,” replies God, gently correcting his companion. “This is where I carried you.”

If the dead keep their distance from us - and who could describe their elusiveness otherwise - perhaps it is only because our eyes fail to see their presence?

Your dreams show a progressive contact with JD. Whether your dream is an imagination or genuine contact, the meaning appears to be the same. You feel closer with JD now - perhaps to the point where physical contact (in a dream) will not be too confusing for you emotionally.

The risk of achieving greater contact with JD in your dreams is that it may divert your attention from the physical world - by causing you to focus unduly upon the afterlife. I am sure this would not be JD’s desire - and perhaps this fear explains the reluctance of the dead, generally, to contact the living. It is unseemly for the living to be preoccupied with the dead. As the parable suggests - that would be missing the point.

(Please see the related dream “Hold On,” also in the Supernatural section).