I have had occasional dreams of steamy affairs with mere acquaintances - I’ve even dreamed of having affairs with childhood acquantances whom I barely knew and wasn’t the least bit attracted to. Many times these people are ones I’ve long since forgotten, but yet their names and faces will be vividly clear in my dreams. I’ve also dreamed of having affairs with those whom I actually have had an aversion to. Can you tell me why I might be dreaming such things? Thanks...

--Anonymous

Hi Anonymous -

You describe your sexual liasons as “affairs.” Are you involved with someone right now in a committed, monogamous relationship? If so, I don’t think the dreams really are a good sign. Most people will tell you that when they are happy with a partner in a committed relationship, they rarely, if ever, dream of being involved with someone else. And, when a dream like that does occur, it usually is a sign of some level of discontent in the relationship. We are not fully happy with our partner, so we begin to look outside the relationship for fulfillment. Dreams like these can also foreshadow future activity to come. Because you are unhappy, you may have decided - subconsciously - that you want to have an affair.

I am always impressed with the ability of dreams to recall - with dramatic accuracy - the names, faces, voices and even body language of acquaintances long since absent from our current lives. It shows us that our memory in dreams in many cases is superior to our waking ability. The fact that you dream of being sexually involved with such an odd assortment of people from your past - and even with some people whom you do not like - suggests that your sexual attraction is not very focused or selective right now. If you currently are involved with someone whom you are not attracted to, your dreams may reflect a desire on your behalf to have sex with anyone but your partner - to put some distance, as it were, between you two. In this case the “who” is not nearly as important as the act itself. If you are single and experimenting with what works for you in a relationship - your dreams may be urging you to spend some time thinking about what you really want in a partner, and to start the “narrowing-down” process.