I have recently started a new relationship with a wonderful man. The other night I dreamt that he and another man were chasing me and trying to kill me.

First we were running through a tunnel that was filled with water. They caught me, and my boyfriend raped me while the other man watched. Then he was chasing me through his office building and I was able to call the police. The police came and shot him several times. Then I’m crying over his dead body and I woke up.

This was an extremely vivid dream that scared me very much. Do you know what it means?

--Anonymous, Female, Age 20, Single, Chicago, IL, USA

Hi Anonymous -

It’s a powerful dream, and I know it was confusing - especially on the eve of your promising new relationship. I think there are three possible interpretations. It’s up to you to decide which one is “right.” Let’s start with the simplest and move forward.

#1: It’s a flat-out, no holds barred, warning dream. You have perceived, subconsciously, that this supposedly “wonderful man” that you are dating actually is a fraud. In fact, you have correctly intuited that he is a sexual psychopath - and that you genuinely are in danger. Translation? Get out now - and don’t bother saying good-bye. Don’t return his phone calls.

#2: The fact that the police come and shoot him shows that you are not in real danger of physical harm or violence. Nevertheless, perhaps you have perceived that this man’s “pursuit” of you is more sexual than loving. The presence of his friend, who watches the rape, suggests a frat-house approach to relationships. Are they keeping score? Are you just another notch on his belt? The dream foreshadows a future you already are aware of subconsciously. This relationship is dead. You are sad, but the sexual game will end.

#3: The person you really are afraid of is the ghost that lurks in your closet. You’ve been hurt in relationships before - and you don’t want to get hurt again. In other words, the person you are battling in the dream is your own fear. What if he is only interested in me for sex? What if I get hurt? Can I risk the pain again, or should I just assert my authority (call the cops) and put an end to this relationship before it gets too far along (shoot him)?

The consistent element in each scenario is concern about your sexual relationship with this man. If your vibe still is good with him - that is, you don’t think #1 is the correct scenario - why don’t you try speaking with him? If you feel there has been too much attention on sex - at the expense of other areas of intimacy - tell him. You won’t be the first couple that has had to make the transition from sexual to emotional intimacy. If he’s the wonderful guy you hope he is, he won’t mind putting on the brakes at all - to let the rest of the relationship catch up.