Last night I dreamed that my boyfriend (who is hinting to me about getting engaged), was married, and that I knew the woman. I dreamed that she called me on my cell phone, then at home, telling me to leave him alone. Shortly after that, I dreamed that ALL my teeth were falling out, one by one, and I was really frightened!

He’s a very serious business man, and because of the distance, we hardly see each other, only on the weekends. He tends to work a lot, and always calls me from work, never from home at night. I do have his home phone # though, but I never call him. He said he fell in love with me right off. We’ve only known each other for about 3 months, and he’s ready to get engaged. I love him, and I’m not planning to say no and he knows it.

This exact type of thing happened to me once before. Are my dreams based on this relationship? Or is there something that my boyfriend is keeping from me?

--Martha, Age 25, Newport Beach, CA, USA

Hi Martha -

I think your dream shows that you suspect that your boyfriend may be keeping an “other” part of his life secret from you, as represented by the “other woman” in the dream. Because you have been involved before in a similar situation, I think it is natural - and not unwise - that you are sensitive to the possibility that such a scenario might be occurring again.

Given the apparent closeness of your relationship with this man, I do find it unusual that you have “never” called him at home. Don’t you think it is curious - given that he is so busy at work - that he only wants to speak with you when he is at work - and not when he is at home, when ordinarily most people have time for non-work related activities, such as one’s partner or love interest? In this sense, it appears that you are the recipient of mixed messages. Your boyfriend tells you he loves you and is hinting at marriage - both of which are indicators that he wants to be extremely close with you - yet at the same time he apparently has made it clear - through his rationale of being busy with work - that he wants this closeness to be very controlled - and on his terms. In your dream, I believe this mixed message is represented by the phone call from the other woman - first to your cell phone, then to your home phone - telling you not to call him. The location of the calls in the dream is significant. I think you are puzzled by this implicit instruction not to call him at home, and are wondering whether you should trust him - or whether there is another woman involved.

You clearly are interested in this man. The scene in the dream where your teeth fall out - one by one - after you learn of the other woman - indicates the hurt, and the slight to your beauty and attractiveness - that you would feel if he chose another woman.

In fairness to both of you, I think you need to recognize that your relationship still is very young - so naturally you are not going to know everything about him. In a broad sense, I believe this is the message that your dream is trying to communicate to you. If you really think this relationship has potential, then I would proceed with caution. At the same time, I would pay heed to the message of your dream. Recognize that your boyfriend - for whatever reason - work, another lover - isn’t ready yet to make himself fully available to you. Over time, if he holds your interest and you begin to see progressions in intimacy, stick with it. If, on the other hand, he can’t seem to move forward and give you the relationship you want - move on. There are a lot of great people in this world who want to be involved in healthy, honest, fair, and mutually supporting relationships. Don’t settle for less than what you want!