Last night I had a very jumbled, but I feel, very significant dream. My boyfriend kept turning into a rabbit, and then back into a human. When he was a rabbit, he would turn very mad, and out of control, eating sharp objects and doing other things to endanger his life.

He was very difficult to control and I spent a great deal of time trying to manage him. I became aware that while he was with me (as a human) he was treating me like a princess, but I had been told or had found out (from one of my university professors!) that behind my back he was calling me names (like a whore) and being promiscuous.

Simultaneously, I went to visit my newly-married best friend. She had just come back from her honeymoon where she had to fly over all of these dangerous places, including Afghanistan. Despite this she was blissfully satisfied, and her new house was looking small but beautifully decorated. Although she had only just got married, she suddenly already had a 20-week-old baby in her bedroom.

In real life I have a boyfriend of one year with whom I am currently in a long-distance relationship, who gets frustrated with me for asking if he cheats all the time. I also have a best friend who got married two weeks ago. She has no baby.

—Carrie, Age 24, Single, USA

Hi Carrie—

Whenever we have alternating identities in a dream, it means that we are seeing two sides of whatever person or object in the dream is being represented. In your case, you see the nice normal side of your boyfriend, in which he treats you like a princess, but you also see him represented as a rabbit. When he is a rabbit, he is mean and requires a lot of care. He also betrays your friendship (calls you names) behind your back.

The representation of your boyfriend as a rabbit is significant. Rabbits in dreams are symbols of fertility. (The Easter Bunny, in fact, is a famous fertility symbol. He comes in the spring, passing out eggs to children.) Accordingly, your dream is representing your fears that your boyfriend is sexually active when he is away from you—“breeding like a rabbit”—and passing out his “eggs” to other women.

It is significant that, in the dream, you spend a great deal of time trying to control him when he is a rabbit. As in real life, you worry whether he is faithful when he is away from you (out of your control). Your dream shows that you have your suspicions about your boyfriend, and that you are devoting a good deal of mental and emotional energy to worrying about him.

The second part of your dream continues the theme of fertility. When you go to visit your newly married best friend, she suddenly is carrying a 20-week-old baby. The baby in the dream represents her new status as a married woman, but it also carries literal associations. Now that your best friend is married, she will soon be starting a family of her own, with real babies on the way.

It is natural when a close friend moves on to the next stage of his or her life that we compare ourselves to them. Accordingly, your best friend’s recent marriage most likely has caused you to wonder about your own time line for marriage. Is your relationship with your boyfriend headed in the right direction? Will he be “the one”?

The added pressure you feel to catch up with the “newly married crowd” almost certainly is the cause of this “out-of-control rabbit” dream. What’s the meaning? Dreams of betrayal are reflections of our own insecurities—and should not be considered precognitive. It’s time to give your boyfriend a carrot for good behavior, and to let go of those nagging insecurities!