My daughter Kirsty is experiencing dreams from which she awakens and then starts worrying herself silly. In real life she is in an on-again off-again relationship with a guy. She really cares for him and wants a long-term relationship, but he only wants a friendship. Then, when she decides to break it off, he rings her up, because he can’t stand not being with her.

She’s had the same dream three times. In her dream she is lying on a table and her stomach is being examined. There is a group of doctors in this examination. They tell her there is nothing they can do for her, and that she is dying. So of course, that is now what she is thinking.

I feel that she is starting a nervous breakdown. She is 23 years old.

—Helen, Age 46, Married, New Zealand

Hi Helen—

Medical examinations in dreams represent feelings that we are being “scrutinized” and “evaluated” very closely. In light of your daughter’s current romantic plight (she is being evaluated by her boyfriend to see if she is suitable for a long-term romantic relationship), the team of doctors most likely reflects your daughter’s feelings that she is being “judged” and “examined” by him. Because it is your daughter’s stomach area that is being examined, allusions to a symbolic pregnancy are indicated.

Pregnancy in dreams symbolizes hope and expectation for the future. Your daughter’s feeling in the dream—that she will die because there is nothing the doctors can do—reflects her disappointment that her relationship with her boyfriend is coming to an end.

Death in dreams is a common symbol for change and separation. It should not be interpreted literally, and your daughter needs to be reassured that nothing is wrong with her physically. Instead, her dream is reflecting a normal period of transition, where a period of hope and expectation for the future (her relationship with the boy) is dying and passing away —as he continues to insist on a “friends only” relationship.

Love always has its share of pain, but your daughter’s dreams reflect a healthy transition in her emotional life, as she lets go of one period, and prepares to grow into a new stage of development. Her dreams don’t foreshadow her literal death; they symbolize an emotional rebirth!