I’ve had a recurring, yet progressive dream over a period of a few weeks... The dreams were all different, however, one part is the recurring part, and that’s the part that has me troubled. In all of the dreams (and those are kind of foggy), things are going fine, then out of the blue my dad steps in and asks me to make reservations for some visiting dignitaries. I tell him that I will, and I make attempts to find just the right place. (I don’t work with my dad, but my job does require making hotel arrangements for visitors) That part ends and the dream goes on and changes pace... Each successive dream has my dad stepping in and asking me if I have made the arrangements. And each time I have this feeling of panic because I have been so busy I haven’t finished it. Finally, in the last dream I had with this, I was in a train station and my dad steps in and asks about the hotel again. I am speechless because I haven’t done it. He gets a phone call and it is the visitors... they’ve gone ahead and made their own plans and tell him where they are staying. My dad never says another word about it, but I am devastated because I know I really let him down...

So... any ideas?

--Wanda, Age 37, Federal Way, WA, USA

Hi Wanda -

I think your dream can be interpreted on two levels. The first is that it fits in with a very common anxiety dream. In the dream you are trying to perform a task that your father asks you to do, but you never are able to complete it. Do you feel, in waking life, that your father treats you as though you are successful and competent in your personal and professional life? Your dream suggests that you are worried about parental approval - and that you feel you are unable to earn it.

As children and young adults we all share this concern for our parent’s approval, though some people’s lives certainly are far more guided by it than others. Being able to “step outside” the parameters of parental approval - into that brave new world of making decisions in our lives based upon our own desires and needs - and not based upon what our parents would choose for us or like for us to do - is considered an essential step in the individuation process of young adults. The bird must leave the nest.

But you are older than the typical age group that is worried about parental approval, and the fact that this dream started recently (and has begun to recur) makes me think your dream may reflect a relatively new concern of yours. Your parents most likely are in their mid to late sixties, and although I do not know from your report the status of their health, I am curious if you think the dream may be reflecting your own concerns about caring for them properly as they continue to advance in age. The fact that your father asks you to make reservations for “foreign dignitaries” is interesting. Do you think this could be an allusion to the “after-world?” Have your parents made arrangements for retirement? Have they signed up for placement into a retirement community? Have these issues been discussed yet among the family? If not, your dream may be reminding you that you need to secure these arrangements long in advance of their actual need.