I am a single mother of 2 kids—a girl who’s 5 and a boy who’s 3. Last night I had the worst dream I have ever had. My kids and I were in some kind of public building and were on the third floor. I was talking to a group of people and holding my son. My daughter wandered away from us and when I looked to see where she was, she was looking over the balcony of the staircase. I said to her “Amber, don’t do that. Come back over here.”

Just as I got the words out of my mouth, she leaned over the railing and fell. I raced down the stairs and when I got to her she was laying on the ground dead. I could hear her screaming as she fell and saw her fall.

We live in an apartment that is 2 stories and has a large balcony at the top of the stairs, which is where I sleep because the apartment is only 1 bedroom. Since we moved her last month I have been afraid one of the kids might fall from the balcony. This dream has me so scared that I’m thinking of moving now. Could this be some sort of premonition about my daughter’s fate?

Please help—I’m desperate to figure this out.

-Jennifer, Age 24, Divorced, Pulaski, TN, USA

Dear Dream Doctor,

I have had SEVERAL dreams about my two year old daughter. In the first dream I left her at home to go to a shopping centre across the road (which I would never do!)—and the more I tried to return to her, the further away our house would be, or the shopping centre would expand as I ran to the doors to go home.

The other three dreams I have are similar, in that I cannot reach my daughter. The areas/situations/scenes keep changing. First I’m at an army memorial, next thing I am climbing a mountain of cardboard boxes to try to get to her. But each time I think I am heading in the right direction, the scene changes and takes me further away.

I wake up sweating and distressed. I am so scared that something will happen to my daughter I do not let her out of my sight. If she is with me, nothing will happen to her. I am scared to let her grow up and explore things for fear of something happening. Help!

-Jayne, Age 36, Female, Married, Sydney, NSW, AUSTRALIA

Dear Dream Doctor,

Could you please answer what my dream means? I have dreamed about our little boy who is nearly 3 years old. Everytime we go near water, I dream of our son drowning, and that we can’t find him. If someone says anything about water, for example, let’s go fishing or water-skiing, I dream that night that a drowning accident happens and that it’s our son. The last one was of fishing. Our son fell in the river and I had to go looking for him in the dark as my husband can’t swim. In the water-skiing dream my husband and his brother took our son out in the boat, and he fell out and they couldn’t find him. It scares me as now I won’t let him near the water because of the vision of the dream. I see it happen in front of my eyes in the day. Can you please help me?

--Sandrine, Age 32, Female, Married, Atherton, Queensland, AUSTRALIA

Hi Jennifer, Jayne, and Sandrine -

I hope that by putting these dreams together, you will see the common concerns each of you shares. Each of you is a mother to young children, ranging in age from 2 - 5 years old. In each dream, as soon as you let your child out of your sight (or out of your arms) disaster strikes! Jennifer’s child falls off a balcony. Jayne’s child is left home alone (while Jayne struggles to return from an ever-expanding shopping center or obstacle course), and Sandrine’s boy falls into water and drowns.

Each of you similarly worries that your dreams are warning signs. The dreams are so horrible—they truly represent your worst fears realized. Are the dreams precognitive visions of the future? Is there anthing you can do to help your child avoid this fate?

Instead of interpreting your dreams as premonitions of the future, I encourage you instead to understand them as poignant reflections of the present. In dream interpretation circles, your dreams fit comfortably into a well-known category of “parental anxiety dreams” that is especially reserved for mothers of young children. In this category you will also find dreams of losing children in crowded shopping malls (after we turn our backs for only a second), leaving children with incompetent baby-sitters, forgetting children in the back seats of cars on hot summer days, and dreams of unattended children being attacked by a neighbor’s dog.

Guiding a child through the myriad hazards of their earliest years requires constant vigilance and attention. We want to keep them away from ledges, balconies, and cliffs. We want to keep them away from swimming pools, ponds, and rivers. And we want to keep them in our site—because God only knows what they’re doing when they’re not in it! (Playing with snakes?) Is it any wonder the mother of a young one occasionally awakens frazzled from the years of responsibility? (And just think! Teen years are next!)

The good news is that your dreams are not precognitive. To the contrary, they are common anxiety dreams. For reassurance, I encourage each of you to share your dreams with other friends who also are parenting small children. You will be surprised to learn how many of your friends have had the same dreams - or a variation therof.

Is there a specific message any of you can take away from these dreams?

Jennifer, if you really are concerned about the safety hazard posed by your balcony, why don’t you figure out a way to block it off? You may want to call up a friend to help you evaluate the situation.

Sandrine, part of your concern about your son drowning appears to related to the fact that his father can’t swim—and therefore would not be able to help in such a situation. You may want to encourage his father to take swimming lessons, but it may be easier to teach your son to swim.

I repeat: None of your dreams is a premonition of the future. Rather, they simply confirm for us something that we already know. Each of you is a caring and dedicated mother. You are worrying about your children as you sleep - even in your dreams!