I have been having bad dreams as a part of an accident, for which I have been seeing a therapist. I have never had a dream about Madeline before at all. Not even with her as a vauge bystander. But Thursday night.. It’s still so horrifying.

My dream was about this guy named Joel that worked with my daddy. He wanted me out of town for some reason. He kept calling me and in a polite way was asking me to leave. But being very threatening at the same time. I was very scared so I went ahead and started to get stuff ready to leave. This guy was everywhere my daddy was, so I couldn’t tell my dad about him. I was down by my dad’s truck giving him a hug and trying to whisper softly so I could tell him without Joel knowing about it.

Then I remembered that Madeline was still upstairs and I had to get her. I climbed the stairs and went in the door and she was in her car seat, strapped in on the couch, slumped over with her eyes buldging out and crossed. I started screaming and ran to her and someone had wrapped something like a thick rubber band a few times around her neck. The screaming in my dream turned out to be screaming in real life. I woke up with 6 people standing over me shouting what’s wrong!

Sometime near the end of the dream, though, it flashed to where I was in a roller coaster and I was holding Madeline. I remember wondering what the hell I was doing on a roller coaster with Madeline, and started holding on to her real tight. Then I realized right before we were about to do a few loops that I wasn’t buckled in, and we were both going to fall.

I can’t get that image of Madeline’s buldging eyes out of my head. It makes me want to cry so much everytime I think about it. I’m not sure if I was just so worried about her safety that it made me dream that? Or maybe she DID stop breathing in her sleep (we were sleeping together that night) and my subconcious realized she stopped breathing and made me dream that to wake us both up???? My mom suggested that I find someone who can interpret these dreams, since it’s bothering me so much and I don’t have an appointment with my therapist for a few weeks.

—Jaime, from the Dream Boards

Hi Jaime—

I am sorry to learn about your distressing dream. It is every mother’s greatest fear that she might lose a child.

Dreams of being threatened by strangers, of course, are common. If we feel vulnerable in our waking lives, we often experience dreams of being chased and attacked. The question we seek to answer, upon awakening from these dreams, is whether our attacker was “generic” or “specific.”

For example, if Joel is a dream character only, he most likely represents a general fear of strangers, and perhaps of attack by men. If Joel is someone you know in real life, you may feel that, despite his appearances of being outwardly polite, inwardly he is actually hostile to you, and controlling of your father.

As the mother of a young girl, your safety concerns are endless. In addition to worrying about having your baby strapped safely into her car seat, having her always by your side in a crowded shopping place, keeping her away from swimming pools, balconies, ledges and cliffs, and keeping her away from the neighbor’s dog—you also need to be wary of strangers, who may wish to perform some malicious act upon her.

Your dream reflects three of these fears specifically. In the first instance (inattention), you run upstairs to find Madelaine strapped into her car seat, but apparently she has choked herself from falling over, and suffocated. When you examine her more closely, however, you find that her death was not accidental (malicious intentions). Someone placed rubber bands around her neck, closing off her airway. At the end of your dream, the theme of the car seat is repeated. You are traveling on a dangerous roller coaster ride with your daughter (carelessness), and realize that neither you nor her are strapped in.

Your dream, happily, is not precognitive. To the contrary, it is a simple reflection of some of the myriad concerns of motherhood—concerns about lapses of attention, carelessness, and harmful acts from strangers. The roller coaster in your dream also suggests a difficult period of emotional “ups and downs.”

As you gain confidence in your ability as a mother, and as Madeline grows steadily into a blossoming young woman, these dreams will vanish gently into your past—and the “roller coaster” ride of motherhood will grow much smoother.