I am a college student at Northwest Missouri State University in Maryville. I recently had a dream that my whole family (father, mother, and 3 younger brothers) were in the Maryville public library when my parents came up to me and told me that they were changing my 7 year old brother’s name from Ryan Joseph Goff to Ryan Jon Jackson. I was livid. I started yelling and screaming at them. I started calling them all the bad names I could think of. I kept saying, “He’s been named that since he was born. How can you do that???!!!’ I was kicking things and throwing things. Then I pulled a bookshelf down on my mom, killing her. I then walked back to the campus and went into my dorm room. After about 15 minutes (I think) Campus Safety came and said I was under arrest for disturbing the peace. They handcuffed me and a girl from my communication class (for real) asked me what I wanted for my last meal. I replied “The lasagna from The Cellar (a campus eating establishment).” That’s when the dream ended. Pretty wierd huh? I think the part about name changing came from the fact that I was adopted and my name was Adam Jon Jackson (currently Adam Thomas Goff). I don’t know why the other things appeared in my dream though. Why was a girl from my communication class in the dream, why did it take place in the public library, why was my last meal terrible lasagna, why did I pull the bookcase down on my mom killing her? Just confused. Thanks for your time!!!

--Adam, Age 18, Maryville, MO, USA

Hi Adam -

I think your dream reflects feelings you still are working to resolve that stem from your adoption many years ago.

I agree that the name-changing scene relates to the change of your own name - from Adam Jon Jackson to Adam Thomas Goff - that occurred at the time of your adoption. In the dream your family that adopted you is trying to change the middle and last names of your younger brother back to the middle and last names of your blood parent’s - back to Jon Jackson. When you learn of this name change - you become livid and go into a rage. “How can you do that,” you ask? You are furious at your adopted parents. But I think the people you really are angry with are not your adopted family - but rather your blood parents - and specifically your blood mother - who gave you up for adoption.

As an adopted child, I am sure you have many questions about your blood parents, and experience a mix of emotions. Naturally you are curious as to why? Why did they give you up for adoption? Why didn’t they love you and keep you as their own child? How could they have done it? These questions are not unlike the questions you ask your adopted mom in the dream when you learn she is going to change Ryan’s name: How can you do it?

I believe your adopted mother is symbolically representing your blood mother. I know that the scene where you kill your (blood) mother is disturbing, but I encourage you to recognize that death in dreams should almost never be translated literally. I think you are angry with your blood mother - for giving you up for adoption - but I do not think you wish to kill her.

Libraries are houses of public record - where documents are kept, including records relating to your adoption. I am unsure from your dream report if you have ever pursued locating and trying to contact your blood parents, but I think your dream suggests that it is on your mind, at least at a subconscious level. (I would be hard pressed to think of a more natural curiosity than to know one’s parents). Whether you choose to look up your folks or not is your own decision. Before you do decide, I would definitely encourage you to go to the library and read up on adopted children - and also read some stories of adopted children and biological parents that have been re-united. Registry services that work to re-unite adopted children with their blood parents also exist, and you can look them up on the Internet. (One such service is called Re-Unite, which operates out of Aspen, Colorado, USA).

Whatever your decision, Adam, I wish to reassure you that your feelings - and your dreams - are completely normal. What is your dream showing you? It’s showing you that you’re curious, you’re frustrated, and that you’re even significantly angry about the whole thing. But I really don’t think there’s any reason for you to have to go out and “disturb the peace”- which, as you yourself recognize in the dream, could have some negative consequences for yourself - bad food, jail, etc. :-)

The great value of dreams in our lives is that they help us to identify feelings and awarenesses that we often - because the feelings and awarenesses are difficult to admit - tend to avoid. In this case, I agree that this dream has shown you some difficult feelings that you are wrestling with. But I also believe that, in showing you your feelings, it has pointed you in the direction for solution. Talk with your friends about your feelings - talk with other people who are adopted. You are going to be surprised at how many people you know are also adopted. One more thing. Don’t forget to talk to those other very special people - who 18 years ago celebrated the happiest day of their lives - when they brought you home to be a part of their family - forever.