I am a 30 year old male, single, a fine artist and web designer. I have recently met an exotic dancer (I’ll call her Jenny), and we have become friends. I wished for us to be more than friends, but she has since gone back to her verbally abusive boyfriend. This is not the first time this type of situation has occurred in my life. I recently shared some of my intimate feeling about her, with her. They were not received well, but we are still friends.

Here is my dream: I am sitting in my apartment with Jenny and another man. I don’t know the other man, but it is common knowledge to the three of us that this man met Jenny the same night I did, but has not talked to her since. He is your typical studly guy, dressed in leather pants and a tight shirt to show off his pecs and abs. We are both drinking beer, and Jenny is on the other side of my desk.

The man turns to me and says, “Well, it’s funny that I haven’t talked to Jenny in a couple of weeks, and here you are, already good friends with her. I feel as though I have some ground to make up.” I say, “I doesn’t really matter to much, she has gone back to her ex-boyfriend.” “Oh really,” he replies, and gives me a sly smile, then turns to Jenny. I finish my beer in disgust. The man then says that he has lost his beer, and must step back to find it. He walks over toward Jenny. I go to my computer, at the front of the desk, and quickly try to find something that I want to show to Jenny. I can see the guy getting closer to Jenny out of the corner of my eye, but I just stare deeper into the computer screen.

Then, the lights go out. It is pitch black and I can’t see a thing. I take another swig of my beer, and I can hear muffled groans of pleasure. I shout, “I know you guys are fooling around! I’m not stupid! I can see you!” (Even though I could not, because of the blackout.) I sink back into my chair and pass out.

I awake, hours later (still in the dream), and it is 4:30 am. The lights have come back on, but nothing was on in my room, and the door was closed. Could they be fooling around on my couch, I thought? I quickly exited my bedroom and went to the living room. The TV was on and very loud, so I turned it off. One of my roommates (a female I will call Susan), was not home, her bed empty. I thought that maybe Jenny and this guy were outside, so I rushed out my front door.

The night was unusually dark, and I could not see much. Just then, I saw Jenny's car leaving in the distance. She was alone, but she was too far away for me to get to her. I turned back toward my apartment.

As I entered, I noticed a dead carcass on my kitchen counter. It was half of a dead deer. Before I could analyze this, I noticed a strange dog in my kitchen as well. Now... Susan has a dog, a half golden retriever/half german shepherd, but this was not her dog. This dog had a golden coat, like Susan’s dog, but its head was deformed or mutated. It looked like a llama’s head, only squished from the top and bottom down. It had human like teeth, and a large, lifeless tongue that hung out the side. Susan’s dog had started to bark at it, so I opened the front door and let it out.

No sooner had I closed the door, that there was a knock at it. I peered through the peephole, and saw someone that looked like a cop, so I opened the door. There, at my door, was a very large man. He was about 6’7”, and he had on navy pants, and a navy jacket with silver buttons, buttoned all the way to the top. He wore a winter hat, with flaps on the side. He was not a police officer, but I trusted him. His face reminded me of Captain Kangaroo from when I was a child, he had a kind demeanor, and a gray and silver beard.

He spoke to me. “Sir, I hate to knock so early in the morning, but you better come outside and take a look at this. I thought you might want to clean this up before your neighbors woke up.” I was confused about what he was talking about. It was right before dawn, and I could see better outside than I could before. It had also started to rain. As I followed him outside, I realized in horror just what he was talking about. Dozens of dead animals were strewn about in front of my apartment. Some were deer, others, unrecognizable. The carcass’ were badly decomposed. It looked as if they were eaten from the inside out by a virus or large parasite. I began to get sick to my stomach as we walked further into the yard.

“Now this is strange,” the large stranger said, pointing to the trees. As I looked up into the trees, I noticed that they were all filled with dead birds. Hundreds of dead birds. Each bird was ripped apart, like an explosion happened in their stomach. Feathers, bones, and guts were dangling from the branches. “This can be dangerous,” the stranger unemotionally said. “Dead animals, especially dead birds, carry diseases.” I began to get sick. I rushed to the parking lot and bent over a grate. I started to puke. But instead of vomit coming out, bird remains came out! My mouth and throat were filled with feathers and bones. I started to choke, and frantically put my hand in my mouth to pull out the bird remains. The faster I could spit out the remains, the faster my stomach kept regurgitating more. The stranger kept walking and talking, not noticing me, or not caring. I couldn’t breathe, and I was choking to death.

I then woke myself up, as I realized that I was coughing and spitting into my pillow.

HELP! This dream was very disturbing to me, and it took several hours for me to fall back asleep. I think that the guy in my dream that was with Jenny, might be myself, as I wish I could be. Perhaps I have regrets about how my relationship with Jenny has evolved. The man has not talked with Jenny since the first night that they met. So, is it me, wishing that I could erase what has happened so far?

I have no clue what the dead animals and birds mean. What’s with the mutated dog? And the stranger? He seemed kind and trustworthy, but as I was choking, he just walked away.

- Jim, Age 30, Albuquerque, NM, USA

Hi Jim -

It’s a very powerful dream, though I suspect the message will be hard for you to hear, as I know that you still are interested in Jenny. But this dream really is telling you that Jenny is unhealthy - with problems that are much deeper than you currently understand.

Am I correct in assuming that the reason you are emotionally involved with Jenny is because you are attracted to her sexually? Put another way, I doubt it is because she is your equal behind a computer screen.

Usually when smart, sensitive guys like yourself fall for women who are emotionally troubled it is because they are 1) sexually immature, 2) on a bit of an ego trip - where they believe that they can change or rescue the misguided woman, and 3) naive as to the levels of consciousness that many people operate on in this world.

In your waking world, the fact that Jenny works as a dancer and that she hangs out with a verbally abusive boyfriend both are indicators that she is emotionally unhealthy. While we can forgive a young woman who is exploring her sexuality taking a few spins as a dancer - her recent return to her verbally abusive boyfriend is a darker indicator of Jenny’s current emotional state. Jenny allows herself to be treated poorly in a relationship, which is a reflection of low self-esteem. She believes she deserves to be treated poorly in a relationship - or she wouldn’t put up with it.

I agree that the initial part of your dream reflects your desire to interact with Jenny at a level that she can understand and appreciate - a basic sexual level - represented by the “studly buff guy.” What does this tell you about Jenny’s abilities in a relationship? She is attracted to non-communicative types who speak only in sexual body language? (This sounds like Jenny’s job description, doesn’t it? Perhaps she has met her match).

Your dream suggests that you do not know (you are in the dark) about Jenny’s sexuality - but that you are not stupid, either. You know she is fooling around. Your passing out in the dream may be a reflection of your real life drinking habits or it may symbolically represent being emotionally overwhelmed by your awareness of Jenny’s unhealthy sexuality. When you “come to” the room still is dark and you wonder where they are. You go outside and Jenny is leaving in a car alone. And then, of course, the dream gets weird.

You come back inside and there is half a deer carcass on the kitchen table, and a deformed dog. It is my belief that the deer carcass is a representation of how your subconscious has come to perceive Jenny. She is “half dead.” Similarly, the rest of the dead animals in the dream, I think, are an expansion upon this dream theme, which culminates in your reching up the dead bird feathers - which wakes you up. Deer are curious symbols in dreams, most often because of the easy double meaning of deer - as in dear (a loved one) and deer (the animal). Unless you have other, specific associations with deer that come to mind, I would leave yourself open to exploring this possibility - that the dead deer represents your dead “dear one.” The deformed dog is also a curious symbol. It is possible that “dog” is a play on words - god spelled backwards - indicating a deformed spirit as well. Again, I encourage you to assess you own associations with the dog and its presence in the dream.

The man who appears at the door, whom you feel you can trust, is a very interesting dream representation. I believe he represents your “higher self” - your inner wisdom and guide. First, you feel calm and safe in his presence. Second, he is a very big and tall man - as in your “larger self” and your “higher awareness.” It is also significant that you notice it has begun to rain in your dream at this time. Rain in dreams nearly always is associated with the release of tension and resolution. In other words, your higher self has arrived to show you the way out of your current situation.

Your higher self wants to show you something very important - and the dead carcass theme is repeated for you. It is very significant that you have the awareness in the dream that all these animals “looked as if they were eaten from the inside out by a virus or large parasite.” Again, the metaphor is that these creatures were sick on the inside (emotions, spirit) and that this inner illness is responsible for their death.

Why the dozens of carcasses? Perhaps it is a metaphor for a type of illness you perceive in many people around you. Certainly strip bars are not, as a rule, filled with the healthiest of folks. Do you think the birds are another of your dream’s play on words? Women are frequently referred to as birds - especially in Australian and European cultures. If the metaphor is sexual, the dream suggests you have overindulged a bit on these birds - and that they are making you sick. Your higher self warns you that dead birds can be dangerous - they carry diseases, and I think “diseases” can be translated both literally and figuratively.

This is a very powerful dream, Jim. I believe it is a warning dream as well as a gream of guidance and transformation. The dream offers a warning about the emotional poverty you are flirting with in your relationship with Jenny - and it is a transformation and guidance dream because it is showing you the way out - which is to stay away from these unhealthy individuals. Excess alcohol also is implied - which is an indicator that you need to evaluate the reasons why you are drinking too much.

Finally, you ask why your higher self didn’t seem to care while you were choking and throwing up the bird feathers. I believe it is because a significant period of decision-making is upon you - and the ball is in your court right now. You need to decide which road you are going to take in your life: the high road or the low road. It is a decision which you alone can make.

I think you’ve had a powerful conversation with your higher self, Jim - your inner voice - who obviously does cares a great deal for you. If you want to learn more about this wise force who came to visit, then resolve to take the high road in your life, because that is where you two will meet again.