I have a recurring dream of losing my fiancee to her being killed, and I am not around. In this dream, I receive a phone call that she is dead, and I start crying. The dream cuts to some time later, where I am doing chores around my home, then see her wedding dress, and start crying again.

It comes in daydreams, or night terrors, so strongly that it causes nervous energy all day. They occur about once every other week. Recently I had to fly, and the possibility of flying without her occurred to me, and it made me cry hysterically until I knew that I would be with her. Please help!

—Paul, USA

Hi Paul—

Death in dreams is a common symbol for change and separation, and should not be interpreted literally. Accordingly, I wish to reassure you that your dream of your fiancee’s death is not precognitive, and does not mean that she will suffer from an accident or injury. On the contrary, the true fear you have is that she will be separated from you.

Because this fear is represented in your dreams on a consistent basis, the question must be asked why you feel insecure in your relationship. Do you fear that she will have a change of heart or will decide not to marry you, if she is left out of your control and supervision? Do you fear that she will return to a former boyfriend or lover if left alone? Did you ever lose a lover, close friend or family member before in your life, or do you have general fears of being abandoned?

I look forward to hearing back from you. Some of the questions I have asked may be difficult to answer, but I hope you are reassured that this dream represents your own fears, and does not symbolize any accident or injury that will befall your fiancee.

Dear Dream Doctor—

Thanks very much for your help. That abandonment theory works for me. She has told me on numerous occasions that she isn't going to leave me, and I believe it, but I guess my subconscious hasn't gotten the message yet. In a prior relationship, I was dumped during a very difficult job situation, so I guess my subconscious does remember being left alone and abandoned.

When situations have come up with my fiancee, I have asked her if she is going to leave me, although in my brain, I am aware that she won't.

Thanks again for your help