I awoke feeling quite relieved. In the dream, I visit a dying woman, a woman who looks like me and I recognize her as myself in the dream. I go to help her because I see her head is tilted, chin to chest, and this is not a good position, especially to die in. I speak to her telepathically as she dies and say I love her and will miss her and I wish her peace, etc. I lift her head up for her as she goes.

My common-law man is in the dream and he watches me. He does nothing as the woman dies. In the dream I have powers to read the thoughts of others. I realize his mind is quite empty and he does not really care much nor does he have much connection. He just goes through the motion of living and acts his role. I realize he is not alive. I am alive.

I wonder what this dream means for me and whether I should lower my expectations of him? My relationship with this man has been frustrating and unhappy. I have felt that it is shallow, lacks authenticity and is very far from what I want or desire in my life. I ask myself regularly why I still persist with it. Thank you for reading, and I hope you can respond.

—Fiona, age 40, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Hi Fiona—

Isn't it a paradox that a dream of our own death can make us feel alive -- and even relieved? The reason why is because death in dreams almost always symbolizes change. And in this case, it appears that you are ready to embrace this change.

You recognize the woman who is dying as yourself, and you are aware that she (you) is about to embark upon a journey. In the dream you are compelled to prepare her for the transition from this world into the next. It is significant that you notice the position of her head -- tilted chin to chest -- as "not a good position, especially to die in." Is it possible that her bowed head symbolizes shame? Are these the same feelings that have prevented you in the past from leaving your common-law marriage? If so, your dream appears to be giving you a big boost of encouragement. Your dream is telling you to reclaim your dignity, to hold your head up, as you prepare to leave an unfulfilling relationship.

The second half of the dream reflects your feelings for your common-law husband. You are not captivated by his mind, and feel he leads an empty, passionless existence with little caring or connection. In the dream you gain an insight frequently alluded to in spiritual and religious texts. You perceive that, notwithstanding your recent "death," you are the one who is truly alive while he, "acting his role," is merely one of the "living dead."

You awoke from this dream with a sense of relief, which suggests that the feelings which you have been struggling with for some time were clarified by it. Deciding to leave a relationship always is difficult. One message of your dream, however, which I suspect will bring you comfort in difficult times ahead, is that "from death (change), new life grows." Your dream also informs you that shame is not an appropriate feeling right now. You ask if the dream indicates that you should lower your expectations of your partner. Perhaps it is asking you to raise your expectations for yourself? We wish you the best of luck in your new life!