I have this dream which is very disturbing.
I dream that I am awake in my bed with my husband asleep beside me,
and the only light in the room is what the moon shines in from outside.
I get a feeling that there is someone laying on me, but I cannot see anyone.
I scream and what ever was on me I hear it get off and walk towards the door.
That wakes up my husband and I tell him what happened, only I am still dreaming
(but I don’t know it). Then I hear the person walking to the bedroom door
and I scream again and I actually wake up and my husband does ask me what happened
and all I can say is I thought I already told you.
I have been having bad dreams for the last week, whether it be someone
coming after me or someone or something that I cannot see grabbing at me
and pulling me into the dark. My dreams are really starting to scare me
and are now waking me up terrified. I have tried to go to sleep
thinking about funny things, things that make me happy, but it doesn’t
seem to matter anymore. Do you have any suggestions?
Afraid to Sleep,
Lori, Age 25, Campbell River, British Columbia, CANADA
Hi Lori -
When we dream, our bodies actually do become temporarily paralyzed. This is
so that we do not “act out” our dreams - actually get up out of
bed and start running around our bedrooms. This “REM Paralysis,”
while functional and necessary for sound sleep, occasionally is responsible
for disturbing dreams. For example, I am sure you are familiar with dreams
where an attacker is chasing a dreamer and suddenly the dreamer is unable
to move. The dreamer tries to run away, but her feet feel like they are
stuck in quicksand. Then she tries to throw a punch, but her arms feel
like they are underwater. There is a great deal of evidence that
suggests these dreams are not really over-meaningful psychologically.
For example, when you try to yell for help in a dream but can’t -
maybe it doesn’t reflect a sense of helplessness toward this
attacker - or to whatever this attacker represents. Maybe your dream
is just representing, accurately, that your vocal cords, mouth and
tongue all aren’t moving - because you are laying asleep in bed.
Most cases of REM Paralysis involve people who actually awaken consciously
from a dream, but whose bodies remain “asleep,” as it were.
In other words, the mind wakes up before the body, and the body still
is in the paralysis mode of REM sleep. When this happens - the body
feels like dead weight. People also often experience the sensation that
their chest is very heavy. When they try to breath - to take a deep
breath - the chest doesn’t respond as it normally does.
When they try to shout, nothing comes out. These sensations of
paralysis often cause the awake/asleep dreamer to panic. Sound familiar?
The second thought I have in relation to your dream is that this
experience has happened to you a couple times in a row, and it has made
you nervous, so that now you worry about falling asleep. My best advice
for you is to re-think the entire experience, and see if what I have
said doesn’t fit in with some of what you are experiencing.
If it sounds like you have experienced a bit of this REM Paralysis,
then in all honesty, my advice for you is just to try and relax.
REM Paralysis is very common, and in fact can even be a bit
enjoyable once you understand what is occurring in the body. No one has
ever stayed paralyzed, and usually a mental effort to awaken works well.
The touch of your bed-partner, as well, will always fully awaken you.
If you can think of a signal to use with your husband to let him know
you are asleep but want to wake up, try it. It sounds unusual, but
many bed-partners learn to recognize when their beloved is having one
of these episodes, and they know to reach over and give them a nudge awake.
You may also want to try sleeping with a soft light on somewhere in
your room - or with a night light that plugs into the wall.
That way you’ll always know where you are when you wake up in the night!
 
|
