I dreamt that my mother died. I just kept crying and crying at the thought of it in the dream. I kept thinking it was a mistake and in the dream when I accepted that it was true I cried again. She had been supposedly shot in Beirut. Eventually she turned up in the back of a landcruiser with my sister.

At first the women in the back seat did not look like her, but I willed her to be my mother and then she was. My sister announced happily that it was a mistake and that Mum is alive. I cried with relief.

—Kellie, Age 35, Single, Female, Melbourne, Victoria, AUSTRALIA

Hi Kelly—

Anytime we dream of a loved one dying, our hearts sink and our apprehension level skyrockets. Was the dream a warning? Was it a premonition?

Your dream most likely reflects concerns about your mother’s health or advancing years. If your mother has had any health issues recently, these concerns most likely have caused your mind to “fast forward” to contemplation of her eventual death.

Sigmund Freud believed the death of a parent is the single most difficult psychological event we ever face. The reason why is not simply the loss we feel when a parent passes on. Curiously, the death of a parent also forces us to confront our own mortality. In the mirror of their death, we recognize that we too, eventually, will die.

Your dream reflects a recognition of your mother’s inevitable death, and it shows your desire to change or resist this awareness. At the end of your dream, the pain of your mother’s passing is so great that you literally will her back to life, by causing a dream character to metamorphose into your mother.

If your mother has been ill, now is the time to draw on friends and family for support. Finally, the reference to Beirut in your dream may be an association to the “terror” you feel at the thought of your Mum’s passing. Lebanon, ten years ago, was the seat of significant terrorist activity in the world.

REPLY:

Dear Dream Doctor -

Yes, you’re spot on. I am concerned about my mother’s advancing age. She seems slower mentally, but then she was always just a little too sharp for most. She may have just mellowed. Thanks!