I am a 28 year old asian woman now living and working in the city. I had a dream after the death of my paternal grandmother, which I would just like to share with you.

When my grandmother was 83, she came to live with us, at my parent’s house in the suburbs, and stayed for 5 years. At the time she was partially paralysed by stroke, blind, and bedridden. During that period, we established a connection between us, where I grew to love her very much, and she knew that. But, due to family conflicts, I left, never to return until 10 months later this year.

She lapsed into a semi coma exactly a week after I returned, and died the following Monday morning. On Sunday night, I dreamed I kept trying to wake her despite knowing her state, and at my insistence, she awoke. I was so happy although I saw that she still looked like she was at death’s door. She was completely pale, and limp. Yet, she took both my hands,and raised them to her lips. I felt her love in that gesture and it was enough. And I woke up ready to let her go.

--Anonymous, Age 28, Single.

Hi Anonymous -

Thank you for sharing your moving dream.

We will always wonder if, during these dream encounters with loved ones who are dying or deceased, we actually make contact with their lingering spirit, or if we merely are working out, in our own minds, the emotions we feel which surround their passing.

So many of us don’t get the chance to say goodbye. Failure to achieve closure with family members or loved ones can haunt us for many years. We feel incomplete. There are words we wish we could have spoken, confusions we wish we could have clarified, and emotions we wish we could have expressed.

Dreams often afford us our last chance to resolve our feelings with those who have passed on. Most dreams of the deceased are of reassurance; the dead “come back” to tell us that they are OK, occasionally to explain particulars of their death, and sometimes even to give specific messages and instructions. Dreamers almost always are comforted by the contact.

None of us understands death completely. But occasionally, in dreams, we glimpse that the transition may not be so final after all.