I am in the midst of trying to get my license back after losing it due to a Drunk Driving incident. After the DD, I stopped drinking and it’s been over a year since I have had a drink.

My parents have seen me go through quite a lot with my drinking and although they are somewhat supportive, they have not withheld their critical judgment of my lifestyle and my choices.

This past weekend I went to visit my lawyer who posed questions to me that I will likely hear at a court hearing where my license is going to be reviewed next week. I came out of that appointment emotionally exhausted and took a nap to alleviate the emotions that were running through me.

I dreamt that I was at a party and was standing in a crowd drinking. I felt kind of tipsy and also like I had drugs in my system. A dog (my parent’s dog, a Weimereiner) was standing on his hind legs (like a person) and linked his “arm” in mine and attempted to pull me to the door several times. Each time, I disentangled his arm from mine and went back to where I was standing and drinking with the people I was talking to. The dog then became larger and slammed me against the wall so that I couldn’t move or get away. I was pinned.

At this point the party that was social becomes a family get-together and I call my mom over to help get the dog off me. In helping me, she gets close enough to smell my breath and she realizes I have been drinking. She was successful with removing the dog and then whispered something to my stepfather and he told me to get my purse because he was going to take me home.

I was angry and embarrassed that I had to leave. I kept insisting that I wasn’t drunk and no one would listen. I then went up to my sister whom the dream established as the hostess of the party and demanded to know why she allowed the dog to manhandle me and why I had to leave with my parents. (Mind you, I am 30 years old, live alone and have a successful career).

In the dream, my sister appears as a different ethnic race than she is in real life, with a big blonde wig and sunglasses. She replies “HELLO! It’s my dog. Don’t you think the dog is going to be loyal to me? Don’t you think he’ll do my DIRTY WORK?” At this point I am so demoralized and crestfallen, I grab my purse and leave.

—Amanda, Age 30, Single, USA

Hi Amanda—

Dreams of using again—of having a drink or of taking drugs—are common among people who have made a conscious effort to stop. You don’t tell us the history of your alcohol use, but your dream may reflect your desire to drink again—or fears that you will drink in the future.

Because your personal life is about to be “tried in public,” it comes as little surprise that you are dreaming that your behavior being is scrutinized and “judged.” The “family dog” that acts like a watchdog in your dream represents your awareness that your family is “watching over” your behavior. Once your mother sniffs you and learns that you have been drinking, a secret conference is held (your mother whispers something to your stepfather),and the family decides that they will take you home—like a misbehaving child.

Because a drunk driving charge inevitably is a public matter (in addition to appearing in court, you lose your license and must rely on friends and family members for rides) your dream reflects your family’s involvement in and monitoring of your progress. In a significant twist in the dream, however, your sister emerges as the owner of the watchdog, and she appears wearing a disguise. The meaning of her camouflaged appearance is plain: throughout the ordeal, you feel your sister has been presenting you with a “false appearance.” Your family designated her to “watch over you,” and her behavior feels like a betrayal.

Actions always speak louder than words. During a difficult period in your life, you deserve congratulations on your year of sobriety, and you deserve to feel proud of yourself. Now is the time to let your actions, and the thoughtful decisions you make, to speak for you in your relations—both with your family, and with the court. As you continue to prove yourself on a daily basis—to yourself first, to others second—your memory of your “public examination” will recede into your emotional past, as an event that warned you as you headed off course, and that helped define your goals and values for the future.

Dear Dream Doctor—

You are so good at sifting through the details.

As for my sister, she hasn’t been appointed the family watchdog as much as she has elected herself to judge me and not speak to me over the past few months. I have had a huge problem with her criticism of me in that she, too, has a drinking problem—and should be the last person casting judgment.

Since she hasn’t had any legal repercussions herself she has had a “holier than thou attitude” and never ceases to remind everyone of my problems, especially at family get-togethers. At her wedding, she was so drunk she threw me in the pool with my dress on. She has often put my candle out to make hers shine brighter, and all of my friends and former boyfriends have observed that she is jealous of me to the extreme.

Thank you for your kind words.