Dear Dream Doctor,

I have a problem with my soon to be three-year-old son, who seems to have nightmares every night. I have heard nightmares are common in children, but doesn’t every night seem a little excessive?

The nightmares are about someone hurting him in one way or another. He never talks about them and when he gets up in the mornings he seems to be fine, like nothing ever happened. When he wakes up in the night he is screaming out in terror, like someone is trying to kill him or something. It really scares me.

Is there anything I can do to help calm him down at night so he doesn’t have such bad dreams? I would really appreciate your help.

—Danielle, Vincennes, IN, USA

Hi Danielle—

The good news is that your son isn’t really having nightmares. Instead, he’s having night terrors—a disorder that occurs during very deep, non-dreaming sleep—that actually is quite common in children. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to help your child—beginning tonight!

Night terrors often are confused for nightmares, but the two arousals from sleep actually are not related. Nightmares occur during REM sleep, and usually have long plot lines involving chase, attack or other distress. Nightmares also usually are remembered vividly, as we are forced awake at their conclusion.

Night terrors, on the other hand, occur during very deep, non-dreaming sleep (usually in the first three hours of sleep), and unlike dreams, are characterized by a single, dominating feeling or dream image. The sufferer of a night terror may feel like the walls are collapsing, that he is in danger of being crushed, or he may see spiders or someone in the room. Night terrors also as a rule are not recalled, because the sufferer never fully awakens during the event.

When children switch from deep to light sleep, they often experience an arousal that awakens them briefly. Sometimes though, their brains can get “stuck” between waking and sleeping. This “half-awake, half asleep” state is what causes the curious behaviors seen in night terrors. Children act awake—they may sit up in bed, talk, or even run wildly around the room—but they still are deeply asleep. Because they are asleep, they are unable to think clearly, which causes them to panic and become disoriented.

Sleep talking, sleep walking, and bed wetting all are related to night terrors. Sleep walking and talking, for example, are “half-awake” states—without the panic and fear associated with night terrors. Bed wetting also is a by-product of a sleepy brain. Studies show that most bed-wetter’s bladders function normally, and do send an appropriate signal to the brain that they are full, and need to be emptied. If a child is an especially deep sleeper, however, the brain can fail to awaken the child.

To prevent your child from experiencing night terrors in the future, special care should be exercised not to wake him when you check on him during the night, or if you attempt to move him. Either of these stimuli can induce a night terrors episode, as your child will struggle to respond to you, but will be unable to fully awaken. When you do check on him during the night, refrain from adjusting his covers or touching him physically, which might cause an arousal.

Nightlights also are effective to help reduce night terrors. Many parents find that leaving a light on during sleep completely eliminates the events. If children are able to see the outlines of their rooms when they arouse, they usually are reassured, and will return peacefully to sleep. If they are left in the dark, children can easily become disoriented, and panic.

Leaving a light on is not a well known “treatment” for night terrors, but it certainly is welcome news to any parent whose child experiences these bizarre “attacks.” If you don’t have a nightlight already, it’s time to buy one and put it to use. If you already have one or if the nightlight doesn’t immediately show results—try increasing the light in the room with a lower watt regular light bulb.

We hope you and your son both are sleeping better soon. Don’t forget to leave a light on!